Random Randomness

Warning! This post is chock full of absolutely nothing. There is no substance here. So if you are looking for some bits of wisdom to guide you through your day, well, you’re out of luck. (Of course, this blog has absolutely no wise bits, so maybe you already knew what you were getting into when you surfed over to my neck of the web.)

Ahem….

We celebrated Granny’s birthday last week. Here’s Granny with her two girls. They sure do love her and so do we. Michael and I are so thankful for her, she really is one of the grandmother’s people write stories about. She loves her girls so much and she gives and gives and gives. We wish we could give to her all that she has given to us – but until we can do that we just want her to know how MUCH we love her.

Now…on to some serious foolishness.

I got my hair did today. Just a bit of a trim because, if you remember – I’m growing this hot mess out. So my hairdresser just thinned me out and messed me up. She said until it gets longer I’m just going to have to be messy. Ya dig? No?

So…hard….for….me. Step away from the flat iron, Leigh….just step away. (Side note: new shirt, Target, SEVEN BUCKS! How do I love thee, Target 75% off rack? It gives the illusion that I do not have a muffin top. SCORE.)

Audrey decided I needed a little ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ so as you’re looking at these pictures imagine “I do not LIKE DEM green eggs and ham. Not in a BOX or in a FOX!” I love her.

Next…I found this beauty in the back of my bathroom cabinet this morning. How exciting! A full bottle of body wash! I have no idea when I got it or who got it for me but this……this I know – it’s like bathing in a bottle of Elizabeth Arden old lady perfume. ACK! GAG!! I could not finish my shower soon enough to keep the fumes from burning my nose hairs off.

So….Enchanted Orchid from Bath and Body Works, you get a big fat thumbs down. “Elusive violets and delicate white irises” my hiney. (Like the Dora toothbrush holder? I love living with a two year old.)

And last…but certainly not least. I drove past a shopping strip in my town this afternoon, only to discover that a new tax service shop has opened. “Mo Money Taxes”. Seriously? Mo Money Taxes? Right, because the people I want handling my taxes and whether or not I get audited by the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT are people who can’t take the time to spell out MORE. That ‘RE’ must just be too time consuming.

Yummy (times TWO!)

SNICKERDOODLES.

We spent the afternoon at my Mom’s yesterday and we made SNICKERDOODLES. The happiness that word brings to my soul is indescribable. A shortbread cookie coated in cinnamon and sugar. It’s like a tiny slice of heaven in my mouth. (I was going to say, on a plate, but that would be silly…everyone knows snickerdoodles last about 1.8 seconds on a plate before they are devoured.)

Well….at least it’s that way in my house.

Here’s the Toots sporting her Nannies cowgirl apron.

Side note: My mother totally should have been married to a cowboy. She would have been the perfect ranch wife. Up at the crack of dawn? Check. (Well, pre heart-bypass at least) Perfect housekeeper? Check. Amazing cook? Check. The ability to multi task like no other? Check. Able to make delicious homemade goodness out of four ingredients in the pantry? Check. The word “procrastinate” does not exist in my mother’s vocabulary. Oh the shame I must bring on her….

Tootsie loved every minute of it.

She stood still.
On a stool.
For 20 minutes.

I have decided that every Tuesday afternoon will be “Make homemade deliciousness at Nannies house”. The child LOVED IT!

I’m not sure what she loved more…dumping flour into a bowl.

Or eating the cinnamon and sugar between dipping the cookies.


I would totally post a picture of the finished product here but I was too busy shoving them in my mouth as fast as possible. Cookies. Yum…


And just to end this delicious post on an even YUMMIER note.

I saw this at Wal-Mart today. I mean SERIOUSLY? Seriously, yum.

*****************************************

P.S. Head over to Becky's blog for an amazing Celebutante makeup giveaway. (Plus, her blog is just too fun to miss!)

Austin

People who know me may think that my favorite place in the world is Disney. I love Disney. L.O.V.E. it – but Disney is not my most happy place. That place is reserved in my heart for Austin.

Now…I totally DO NOT BELONG in Austin. I am not cool or bohemian enough to fit in such a place. I am too far along in my geekdom to actually LIVE there but in my fantasy life I am an Austin-ite.

In my fantasy life I live off of South Congress and I stop at Jo’s coffee every morning on my way to my “not trying to be cool” little boutique I own. I head to the Saxon Pub EVERY Monday night for a Bob Schneider show (in my fantasy life he may or may not be my secret husband….don’t worry, the Television Man knows this) and then I head to dinner in the Courtyard of the San Jose.

I’m not really sure exactly what it is about Austin that feels like HOME to me – but Austin is where my heart lives. So until my television man gets a wicked awesome job at ‘Austin City Limits’ or some such fabulousness I will just live there in my fantasy life – wishing I could spend my weekends with the Toots at Barton Springs Pool and my evenings watching the bats underneath Congress Bridge.

Where’s your fantasy life?

Our room at the San Jose

Breakfast at The Magnolia Cafe

Bob. That is all.

Waiting for Mr. Schneider with The Television Man.

Happy.

A beautiful day

A beautiful day with Audrey, Nannie, Poppa and the swans.

(Thanks Daddy for the 'oh so Audrey' video.)

Audrey and the swans from Leigh Middleton on Vimeo.

If you ever get the chance, take a drive to Heber Springs to see the swans. It's one of my favorite things about living in this state.

What the??!!

I have to make a confession.

My child…

Yes, this really adorable piggy tailed beauty.

Something has happened to her. I don’t know where she’s gone but I am searching for the pod the aliens have put her in.

You see, the past couple of weeks have been….interesting, to say the least. One must walk on eggshells around Audrey for fear of sudden DOOM falling upon them. Who knows what might trigger it? Having to put on her shirt or go to the potty. Or maybe asking her to eat her breakfast or HORROR OF HORRORS making her sit in the cart at Target.

So you see, what I’m trying to say is this child.

Yes, this adorable bathing beauty. She MAY POSSIBLY be possessed by demons. Erratic demons who have no idea what they’re really mad about – just that they are mad and they’re going to tell you about it. (Or possibly kick you in the face/shin/belly)

We started off great today. REALLY great. She was my Tootsie Dee. Sweet, cooperative, ate her breakfast and her lunch, left the “Chikilay” playground easily. I felt good, I felt confident, I felt like I could take her to TARGET!!

Target. My happy place. That is where things went sour. Fast.

Because you see, this child. This sweet little food snatcher. Well…she decided she didn’t want to be at Target anymore. When I had a full cart. And I was at the back of the store.

So this child. This sweet little bubble covered pee’er. She decided she wanted to “GO HOME!” and she wanted to “GET DOWN!” and she decided that the most effective way to convey that message to me was to kick! throw things! and SCREEEEAM!

The best part was her fit over her new pink microphone. Poppa had given her two dollars to get a toy. (Because this child NEEDS toys. You’ve seen her playroom. Bless her heart, the child is NEEDY.) She picked a pink microphone and before said meltdown she was singing away – happy as a wee pig in the sunshine.

Then, before I know it…she HATES the microphone. “I don’t WANT this microphone.!!!” I take it and put it on the shelf (and NO, not the correct shelf, get over it). Then she’s screaming “MY MIIIICROPHONE!! GIVE ME MY MIIIIIICROPHONE! OH NOOOOOOO!!!” I gave it back to her (because I am WEAK) and she throws it, again. “NO! I DON’T WANT THIS MICROPHONE!!! PUT IT UP!” I put it up and…well….you can probably guess what happened. (The microphone may be on the candy shelf of aisle 6.)

I had a moment. A moment where I just stopped around the clothing section and just stared at her. I didn’t know what to do – I was at a complete loss. I bribed her (PLEASE be quiet and Mommy will get you an Icee), KICK! I threatened her (BE QUIET NOW or when we get home you will go STRAIGHT to time out), WHAM! So I just stared at her and thought of better days. Days where a tiny braided beauty plays quietly with Mr. Potato Head.

Where has this girl gone? Can someone help me find her? PLEASE??!!! Because if she doesn’t return soon her Daddy may come home to find me in the corner sucking my thumb.

Corn Meal. . .

A story in pictures. (Alternatively titled, "Why Leigh should panic when Audrey is quiet for more than 2 minutes.)

She gets down on the floor...on the floor

Untitled from Leigh Middleton on Vimeo.

Conversation...

Sometimes being the mother of a 2 1/2 year old can be hard - but a majority of the time it's pretty stinking fabulous. I wish her conversations would stay this innocent forever.

Have I mentioned Audrey LOVES to talk? I don't know where she gets it. . .

Audrey talks...and talks...and talks from Leigh Middleton on Vimeo.

A brown football helmet

So, this blog is about me being a Mommy and all that goes with it – but I figured, since I have tens of readers a day, I should get a little hair advice. Maybe one of you our there would know how to survive this dreaded football helmet.

You see, I’m letting it grow, this hair of mine. I cut it off after the great arm break incident of ’03 (insert rocking awesome picture of scar here…) and have been short ever since.

And I am DONE with it. Done with it being short, done with not being able to do anything with it, done with “Mommy hair”. DONE. (Insert frightening Leigh self-portrait here. Is there a way to take a picture of yourself in the mirror and not end up looking like a parrot?)

I don’t have $7,000 a la Kate Gosselin for extensions (and even if I did….I don’t know who she paid 7k for those things but it was the wrong person.) but I just hate this awkward “growing it out” phase. I want it long but I know myself and I’ll get halfway there, feel ugly and cut it all off again. (Insert 2nd parrot picture here)

So, who has a suggestion?

P.S. I totally need to tell all (tens) of you the arm break story. For those
of you who don’t know it, it’s a good one. (Here’s a spoiler, my husband did it.)

Peppers? She wants peppers?!

We woke up from our Sunday afternoon nap today and I was greeted with the standard “Momma! I wanna snack!” Of course she does – Audrey would rather “snack” than eat a full meal. I’m pretty sure she would graze all day if I let her.

We run to the fridge and what does she choose?

Pudding? No.

Yogurt? No.

Jello? No.

Grapes? Watermelon? Strawberries?
Nope. Nope. Nope.

“These Momma” as she taps on the crisper. Tap, tap, tap.

The pears? The apples?

“NO MOMMA! THESE!!”

Of course! The peppers.

I don’t know where she came from but she didn’t inherit my love of junk.

Peppers. Raw. She ate FIVE of them. I tried my very hardest not to gag.

Spanky

I don’t know if there is much more fun to be had….

Than hanging out in Dillard’s with Daddy…

Wearing a REALLY cute new hat. Just call her Spanky. Could this child be any more cheesetastic????

(No Daddy, not as cute on you.)

Lucky

Some days, this whole “Mom thing” is pretty tough.

Sometimes I’m tired, or cranky, or I just want a break.

And then I remember…

Who else gets to play Mickey Mouse Yahtzee at work?

(Pardon the paint chips on the wall. I'm trying to decide what color I want the paint fairy to make my bedroom. And it's NONE of those!)

Or lay next to a little girl in warm snowflake pj’s?

Shouldn’t everyone’s day start off with a viewing of ‘Tinkerbell’?

And shouldn’t every lunch end with a quick run?

I am so lucky. Even when I’m pretty sure she hates me (which has come a lot the past few days) there are precious moments that remind me of how much I LOVE my job.

Don't tell her Daddy. . .

Look. . .

Who. . .

Got. . .

A. . .

Haircut!

(Don’t tell Daddy!)

GYMNASTICS!!!!!!!

Today was GYMNASTICS!!!!

You can’t just say GYMNASTICS!!!

GYMNASTICS!!! must be yelled at the very top of your lungs. Preferably followed by a “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”

Well. That is how you have to say it if you’re Audrey.

We missed all of December and the Toots was super stoked to be back.

Waiting on her dot. The only time my child ever. sits. still.
I am considering buying a plastic red dot for the house.
“Go sit on your dot! Mommy needs some quiet time!”

Then she’s off. 1st a little ‘toes awake, toes asleep’ on the mailbox. Behind her is Noah.
Noah is the male version of Audrey. Toots likes to tell us that one day she will marry Noah. “Because Noah is KIND and CUTE.”(Two very good qualities in a husband little one. Just add HAS A JOB to that list and you’ll be close to Mr. Perfect!)

Then she finally has the chance to climb up the walls. She’s a SUPER wall climber. (Both figuratively and literally.)

Stacking some blocks. (2 ½ seconds after this photo was taken she threw them at me. Oh, she loves me so.)

And then to her FAVORITE. THE PIT!!!! THE ROPE!!! “I’M SWINGING LIKE CURIOUS GEORGE!!!”

Sliding down from the pit. Surprisingly, no foam block. She almost always takes a foam block with her.)

HOP! to blue. HOP! to green. HOP! to purple!

Next, balance beam. Notice the perfect airplane arms. Do not notice Mommy’s double chin. (Must. Stop. Eating. Cookies.)

Jump, jump, JUMP on the trampoline.

Hanging out with Ms. Trish. Ms. Trish is her teacher and the woman deserves a medal. She teaches 2, 3 and 4 year olds gymnastics all…day.

Down the looooooooooooooong trampoline. “Apart, together, apart, together”

My little bunny rabbit.

Then CIRCLE TIME!

It’s time to doooo the monkey. Oooh-oooh, ah ah, oooh-oooh, ah ah.

Jump to the front and back. C’mon now, jump to the front and back.

After we’ve shown everyone in circle time our perfectly executed ‘stretch and roll’ (they called it a somersault in my day) it’s STAMP TIIIIIME! Today she got Minnie Mouse. There will be much grieving for our GYMNASTICS!!! stamps in the bath tonight.

GYMNASTICS!!! is Audrey's favorite part of the week - and definitely the fastest 30 minutes of her day. (And BONUS! She usually always takes a great nap when she gets home.)